you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
