i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
