in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
