plz talk dirty to me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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