dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
