it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
