there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
