Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
