my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
