I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
