If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
