You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
