Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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