No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
