That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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