That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
