Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
