I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
