omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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