the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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