For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
