There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize