if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize