im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Two words: blizzard sex
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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