Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
