Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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