It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
