The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i barfeds in our rink
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
