He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He shit in the fireplace
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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