i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
