So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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