How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
