It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
