Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
