hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
