He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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