when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
