So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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