no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
