I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
