you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
