found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
