He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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