I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
