Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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