Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
