Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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