no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
