i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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