Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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