thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
