Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize