Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
either way he was missing a nipple.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
