He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
