hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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