TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
