She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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