i would punch a child for taco bell
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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