I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
