oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
